Beaver, be gone

Yesterday, the Canadian Senate took a page from HGTV as Conservative Sen. Nicole Eaton puckishly launched a national “emblem makeover” campaign to replace the industrious, homely beaver with the “majestic and splendid” polar bear as “Canada’s symbol for the 21st century.”

At first glance, the scheme appeared a masterstroke, given concerns over the polar bear’s looming extinction. What better way of squarely facing the ravages of global warming? Sen. Eaton’s gesture even appeared a bold jab at the government that appointed her—one whose record addressing climate-change is an international joke.

But no. The senator’s pitch made no mention of the mammal’s extinction or endangerment. “The polar bear is the world’s largest terrestrial carnivore and Canada’s most majestic and splendid mammal, holding reign over the Arctic for thousands of years,” she said, nicely echoing the Harper government mandate on northern sovereignty. She even offered a shout-out to the government: “Canada is a world leader in its exemplary system of polar bear management. Our approach features co-management involving aboriginal groups and government, and a strict system of quotas and tags.”

Hands off our beaver, Senator

A Conservative senator wants to toss aside our long-standing national emblem, the beaver, and replace it with the polar bear. The era of the “dentally defective rat” is over, argues Senator Nicole Eaton. Onwards and upwards, it’s time for Canada to honour the “world’s largest terrestrial carnivore.”

Would Americans stop pushing us around on border and trade issues if we had a huge predator for a national animal instead of an unassuming, industrious one? Polar bears can be pretty ruthless. They’re even known, on occasion, to eat their young. And not just the dads but the moms, too, as Toronto zookeepers discovered recently. That’s a hawkish new image for Canada indeed.

Polar bears are strong and majestic looking, so it’s easy to see their appeal over squat and toothy rodents. But looks, dear senator, aren’t everything. And what’s really curious (besides how this could possibly be a matter for the Senate to worry about) is why, as a Conservative, Eaton doesn’t see more to love in the beaver. They really are on the right side of so many issues.