Parliament itself is a reflection of bullying in society

OTTAWA—Canada’s premier bully pulpit is about to take on bullying. In the wake of the tragic suicide of British Columbian teen, Amanda Todd, a New Democrat has introduced a private member’s bill on the subject.

In defence of his proposed legislation, the NDP MP for Chicoutimi-Le Fjord, Que., makes a public confession.

Dany Morin says he was motivated to act because of his personal stake in the bullying question. As a youth, he was the victim of bullying.  

Contrary to popular myth, bullying is not a new phenomenon.

If you conducted a survey of Members of Parliament, just about every single one of them probably got bullied or delivered a bullying themselves on the precarious road to adulthood.

Basically, figuring out how to deal with bullying has always been a part of growing up.

As a child, I vividly remember being bullied on the basis of religious differences.  My older sister and I walked to school every day and en route, passed a group of older boys who called us “Cat-lickers” a disparaging reference to our attendance at a Catholic school.

First we discussed how to deal with the problem. She preached conflict avoidance.  Let’s simply zig when they zag on their way to a school in the opposite direction.  I wanted to stare them down.

When they yelled, I returned.  For every Cat-licking reference they levelled, I returned with “Proddy dog,” an insult to their religious leanings.  In those days (the fifties) there were literally only two religious groups inhabiting our neighbourhood.

The first day I returned the insult, we got in a scuffle and I arrived at my school with a black eye.  I got punched out by one of the bullies but I gave as good as I got.

The next day it was a bleeding nose.  But as I continued to fight back, they got tired of the game and went on to new, less troublesome victims.

My point is not to lionize my schoolyard response to bullying but to emphasize that all this hooey about bullying being a modern phenomenon is nonsense.

Parliament itself is a reflection of society.  And some of the toughest bullies end up wending their way to power.

I know one Member of Parliament who actually broke someone’s rib during a melee at a leadership convention.  Have you ever analysed the pack dynamics of Question Period?

If a minister is responding with a particularly egregious obfuscation, a pack of opposition members jump in to drown her/him out.

The same treatment is reserved by government backbenchers for Opposition questioners who start to draw blood.

In the course of a normal session, the response to a politically damaging debate is often the collective attack of a pack.

Of course, cyber bullying is new.  Because cyberspace is new. But in the case of cyberspace, the solutions can be much simpler. The old schoolhouse rhyme put it quite simply. Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me. The beautiful thing about computers and smart phones is that you can simply disengage with the flick of an off button.

The same cannot be said for bullying in the schoolyard.  And no law will change that.

Legislation cannot solve a human dynamic that exists in every workplace in the country.

How many of us have had bullying bosses? And had to simply keep our mouths shut for fear of losing a job?

Almost every family has an in-house bully. Whether it is an overbearing in-law or a nosy aunt, every single social group creates the potential for bullying.

We need to understand that support for the bullied and the help for the bully all come from the same place.

Parents, teachers, and other authority figures need strategies to assist victims and weed out the bullies.

School curricula should emphasize tools for peaceful conflict resolution. Understanding how to solve bullying is as important as arithmetic.

Family violence, not a new phenomenon, is bullying. Yet little effort is made to educate young people on the right life mate choices. The same can be said for elder abuse.

As a society, we glorify bullies. We drink a beverage called Red Bull. We watch extreme fighting. We listen to syndicated radio hosts who bully. We promote television bullies. We fund the glorification of war.

Bullies are a fact of life.  No law will change that. From the cradle to the grave, we have to learn to deal with them.

Some of the most obnoxious are actually in Parliament.

Sheila Copps is a former Jean Chrétien-era Cabinet minister and a former deputy prime minister. 

Original Article
Source: hill times
Author: SHEILA COPPS